- Me: You tried FaceTiming me?
- Juice: Yes. While I was rocking out to Kesha in the car. Your loss.
Texts with an Asshole
- Me: I’m turning into dad. I picked up a pack of Lay’s Classic chips to have with lunch. Passed on all the Doritos/Fritos.
- Juice: That's not a bad person to turn into.
- Me: Too bad I don’t have any of his smarts. 😟
- Juice: Or his monies. Or one great kid like Juice.
- Me: 😒
When you’re not drinking a beautiful 18+ year old scotch, what’s your favorite libation? Something fruity and a little bit girly would be preferable.
ok, straight Corn Liquor with a drop of dandelion wine that has run down the lush valley between my wife’s ponderous poonts.
God damn I want to meet Nick Offerman. Dude is a hoot and speaks like a poet.